I Know Him By Heart
by rubbishgirl
Summary: What if when Cordelia wished Buffy away it meant Angel found someone else, and what if she came to look for him? Ninth chapter, enjoy!
1. Prologue

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.   
A story set from "The Wish" onwards season 3. I shall be altering it to fit in with my vision, and missing out parts that remain more or less unaltered.  
  
  
Willow and Xander were taunting Angel. It was their favourite pastime - since their other one died. Didn't mean they couldn't still hurt her though, Xander grinned. He thought he saw her stirring so threw Willow a match.  
  
"Watch it with those things. You almost got my hair."  
  
"Sorry, got carried away. It looks like our favourite person's going to join us"  
  
"She isn't," said Willow incredulously, then looked at the waking form. "Hi!"  
  
"Angel," the girl said, but he was too weak to speak to her.  
  
"You know," said Willow, "you haven't been much fun since you died so I think we're going to have to entertain ourselves with Angel."  
  
The girl ignored her went to cradle Angel in her arms.  
  
"Ah," Willow crooned sarcasticly, "young love, isn't it beautiful. Do you want to?" she asked Xander.  
  
"No, thanks, baby. I just wanna watch you go." And he threw her the box of matches. She lit one and she and the other girl watched as she placed it on Angel's chest, with very different expressions on their faces.  
  
  
  
Buffy came down quickly and walked past the cell where Angel was chained to the wall. She walked fast to be sure of getting the master. She glanced briefly at Angel, and when she looked back her way was barred.  
  
"Slayer." The girl said it accusingly, like a dirty word.  
  
Buffy staked her and the girl just stood there. Buffy frowned and tried again but it still left no mark.  
  
"Who are you?" Buffy breathed.  
  
"He is Angel, help him," she said turning away from Buffy to look at him.  
  
Angel moaned softly from the corner of the room.  
  
"Ssshhh, she's going to help us." she whispered as she walked through the to stroke his face. "Aren't you?"  
  
The girl turned her dark eyes to Buffy. They held no sign of the hostility in her tone, they were just scared and looked pleadingly to Buffy. Buffy was touched by sincerity in the girls face. "Yeah," she said softly, breaking eye contact.  
  
"The keys are behind you." the girl told Buffy.  
  
"Thanks," Buffy said patronisingly, and kicked down the door. As she bent down to unchain him he flinched from her cross.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"Look Buffy," the girl said from the doorway of the cage, "I really don't need to explain all this to you."  
  
Buffy watching in horror as she unbuttoned the chains restraining the possibly dangerous vampire in front of her. As soon as he was free he lunged forward and she jumped back readying herself for battle and thanking God she'd got her control back.  
  
Angel went straight past her and caught the girl gently as she began to fall.  
  
"Are you okay?" he whispered softly.  
  
"Yeah," she said, and smiled tenderly at him.  
  
He returned the smile and they kissed, their lips just touching.  
  
As Buffy watched this exchange she was amazed by the symmetry in their faces as if they were each being reflected in a distorted mirror. The strong lines and corners in Angel's face were softened into curves on hers. as they kissed something seemed to pass between them an unearthly glow seemed to enter their faces. As they drew away it stayed on his but the light faded from her features leaving her a dusky grey. Angel lowered her to the ground and gradually got up.  
  
"Let's go" he said and started striding away.  
  
"Wait," Buffy said, now convinced that they were good guys. "What if the vamps find her."  
  
Angel turned to look at her. "They can't do anything she's already dead."  
  
"Oh god, I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay, she's been dead for a while now."  
  
"But they could still stake her, right?"  
  
"Not vampire dead. Dead dead."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Look, I'll explain on the way."  
  
Angel takes the lead and Buffy follows waiting for him to continue.  
  
"Any human is made, arguably, from three parts - body, spirit and soul, in that order. If the soul dies and gores to heaven you're left with a vampire. If the spirit dies it disappears, the soul goes to heaven and you're left with what's medically termed brain-dead. If the body dies the spirit disappears and the soul goes to heaven."  
  
"So what happened with, um . . ." Buffy paused, waiting for Angel to tell her the girl's name.  
  
"Her spirit can live independently of her soul and body. They've already killed her body."  
  
"What did you hold?"  
  
"She's my siren, I hold her spirit."  
  
"So you're like, soul mates."  
  
"Make that spirit mates and you're getting close." He looked through the open doorway. "There they are, what's the plan?"  
  
Buffy grinned at her new friend and brandished her stake, "Don't fall on this."  
  
  
Ten minutes later Buffy was dead.  
  
Ten seconds after that she was back at school and none the wiser.  
  
Miles away in LA a young girl woke with a start and one word on her lips.  
  
"Sunnydale."  



	2. I'm On My Way

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.  
  
Author's Note  
If you need to refresh on what happened during the last half of season three might I suggest this site - http://www.buffyforever.co.uk/scriptindex.htm - the site I used no longer exists so I hope this one works as well.  
With each chapter I will include a song - feel free to ignore them.  
  
  
  
Xander was standing next to Willow waiting for her to get her books from her locker.  
  
" . . . That's the Christmas spirit."  
  
"Hello, still Jewish. Chanukah spirit, I believe that was? Anyway, forgiveness is pretty much a big theme with me this year, cause of the -"  
  
Oz appeared.  
  
"Hey," said Oz  
  
"Hey," Willow replied. Oz gently took her arm and led her away.  
  
"Well bye"  
  
Xander was looking after them helplessly when something else caught his eye. A young twenty-something woman was walking down the hall. Dangling from her right hand was a ridiculously small denim backpack with equally ridiculous long straps. Looking around and seeing his eyes on her she walked confidently up to him. Xander blushed and tried to avoid her eyes without looking down her dress.  
  
"Um, do you know the way to the library? I'm looking for Rupert Giles."  
  
"Oh, are you a relation?" asked Xander noting her English accent.  
  
"No, it's just coincidence." she smiled.  
  
"You follow the hall, it goes straight on then to the left. After it's turned it turns again, don't follow it but go straight on through the double doors."  
  
"Okay," she said, frowning slightly.  
  
"Do you need me to help you?" Xander asked hopefully.  
  
"No, you should probably get back to class."  
  
"Break doesn't end for another five-" the bell rang "-minutes." He winced.  
  
"Bye Xander"  
  
"Bye"  
  
She walked away and he slapped himself on the forehead.  
  
"Idiot, idiot, idiot." He punctuated each word with a slap. "Did you even give her the right directions?"  
  
  
  
Xander was hiding in the library eating his lunch. It was the only sure way to remain Cordelia-less and stay away from Oz and Willow who were being sickeningly together. Also he had to hide from Giles who was still a bit of a librarian when it came to eating near books.  
  
Then he saw her. A student held the door open for her and she smiled at him and murmured thanks.  
  
From his vantage point he was able to look at her properly. She was quite a bit shorter than him. The dress she was wearing was very decent Xander noticed unhappily, but it was quite flimsy and the effect of the sun shining behind her on the dress had its own effect on Xander. She was wearing a pair of clumpy black Doc Martins on the end of two shapely legs. Her shiny black hair was swept away from her face by invisible hairpins. Black lips and heavily made-up eyes that accentuated her pale skin made Xander wonder for a second, but then he noticed the patch of sunlight she was standing in.  
  
By this time she was in conversation with Giles. Xander watched them with childish glee, knowing that he could see them but they couldn't see him.  
  
"Xander, come here a second."  
  
"Shit"  
  
"Hi," Xander said to the girl, feeling more than slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Xander," said Giles rubbing his forehead nervously, "this is, um"  
  
The girl turned away from Giles to talk to Xander.  
  
"Una," she said. Then, grimacing slightly, "the first," and she shook hands with him.  
  
Xander however was slightly distracted by Giles mouthing "Get Buffy" madly behind his head.  
  
"Nice to meet you, but I have to go and get Buffy," Xander said amicably. Behind him Giles slapped himself on the forehead mirroring Xander's earlier action.  
  
"The slayer?" she said, looking confused. "Oh, I see my reputation precedes me. What have you heard?"  
  
"Um, that you're evil, absolute evil, older than man, than demons."  
  
"I am old, but not evil. Some guys a long way back, who were, decided I was - evil I mean - and they did things in my name. It's very embarrassing."  
  
"Well, all the same," Giles tried to be logical, "I think we would all feel safer if you were in the cage."  
  
"Okay," resigning herself to her fate, "but just until he gets here."  
  
"Xander I'll find Buffy, you lock this Una up." Giles left quickly.  
  
"So who are you looking for?" Xander asked as he shut the cage door.  
  
"Just some guy, he owes me money."  
  
"So do you have a boyfriend?"  
  
"Not at the moment, but you never know what's around the corner." She looked at him speculatively. "You seem to have gotten over the absolute evil idea quickly."  
  
"Well, my two best friends go out with a vampire and a werewolf respectively -"  
  
"Must be interesting"  
  
"-so I guess I'm used to absolute evil."  
  
"Which I'm not." she said, stressing the point.  
  
There was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"So . , do you have a girlfriend?"  
  
  
  
"Do you really think it's safe to leave Xander in charge of Miss Absolute Evil over there, especially as he seems to be flirting with her."  
  
"I'm sure it will be fine, maybe it will lull her into a false sense of security."  
  
"Or maybe we're the ones being lulled."  
  
"I must say I prefer the former. I'll go and question her." Giles left Buffy and crossed the room to the cage.  
  
". . . it's nice. What are the crystals for?"  
  
"They have an extremely unpronounceable name, they're sort of a good luck charm."  
  
"Well it's very pretty anyway," and he smiled at her.  
  
"Hello Rupert, want something?"  
  
"No, I just wanted to know if you had any proof that you're not who you say you're not."  
  
"I'm a siren, look it up."  
  
"Buffy, there's a book on the bookshelf behind you, third shelf down, Native North American Culture: or something like that and um,"  
  
"You know what you remind me of someone . . ," Xander started  
  
"Xander go and help her."  
  
"Fine," Xander said annoyed. Bye Una."  
  
"Bye. What do you want to know Rupert?"  
  
"I'd really rather you call me Giles, at least until we get this sorted out." He sat on Xander's chair. "Did you bring Angel back?"  
  
"I don't think so, where from?"  
  
"From hell."  
  
"Well, probably, yeah, but not directly." she said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.  
  
"Not, um, directly?"  
  
"It's kind of hard to explain, you see . . ," she looked towards the door.   
  
"Angel!"  
  
Giles sat down heavily on the chair and started snoring, behind him Buffy and Xander were sleeping, having a page each.  
  
The girl opened the unlocked door of the cage.  
  
Angel burst through the doors and she ran to him, then stopped, uncertain of herself.  
  
Angel ran to her sweeping her into his arms.  
  
They held each other as tightly as they could; then loosened their hold to look at each other. For a moment it seemed like they might, but they didn't, in the end, kiss.  
  
"Do you know what I'm thinking?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today  
I'm on my way from misery to happiness today  
I'm on my way to what I want from this world  
And years from now you'll make it to the next world  
And everything that you receive up yonder  
Is what you gave to me the day I wandered  
  
I took a right, I took a right turning yesterday  
I took a right, I took a right turning yesterday  
I took the road that brought me to your hometown  
I took the bus to streets that I could walk down  
I walked the streets to find the one I've looked for  
I climbed the stair that led me to your front door  
  
And now that I don't want for anything  
I'd have Al Jolson sing "I'm sitting on top of the world"  
  
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can  
I'll do my best, I'll do my best to do the best I can  
To keep my feet from jumping from the ground dear  
To keep my heart from leaping through my mouth dear  
To keep the past, the past and not the present  
To try and learn when you teach me a lesson  
  
And now that I don't want for anything  
I'd have Al Jolson sing "I'm sitting on top of the world"  
  
I'm on my way  



	3. Honey to the Bee

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network.  
  
Thanks to those who reviewed - Lil Miss Giggles, Pucktricks and SpikeLover. Please, please, please review or I'll get very depressed and kill myself and you'll have only yourself to blame.  
  
Buffy woke and found Xander and Giles staring at her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you remember," Giles asked, "What on earth was going on?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Giles sat back heavily on his chair with a groan. "We've just lost about six hours of our lives and we have no idea why," he looked up. "What's that book Buffy?"  
  
"Um," she looked down at its pages, and saw a picture looking very like Angel. "It's just my reading book." She slipped it into her bag. "I gotta go." And she did, quickly.  
  
Xander and Giles looked after Buffy then at each other.  
  
"Girls," scoffed Xander.  
  
"Indeed," replied Giles.  
  
  
  
"Hi mom," Buffy said as she closed the front door behind her  
  
"Hi Buffy, how was your -" she came out of the kitchen just in time to hear Buffy's door slam, "- day?"  
  
  
  
Buffy lay down on her bed, got the book out of her bag and started to read.  
  
"Although the Native North Americans did not have any belief in evil demonic figures there are records of those that seem to be benevolent. The most prominent of these is a species known, in their language, as una but has come to be known throughout European countries as sirens.  
  
"Various Native North American tribes have traditional stories of an immortal woman. She was said to have miraculous healing powers. She is supposedly searching for her soul mate. She seems to have no loyalty to any particular tribe but travelled throughout the area. She appears in the folklore of a tribe at intervals of between fifty and one hundred years. This suggests that, although all the descriptions obtained from the different tribes seem to correlate, it is different generations of the same demon and not just one demon. She might have a very different lifespan from the humans but as she bears all physical characteristics in common with them this is unlikely.   
  
"She is said to have formed relationships with men within the tribes, the proximity of these relationships to the end of her visits suggests that maybe the visits were made in order to conceive a child to continue her race. Which, if true, would mean a metabolism almost, if not exactly, the same as that of a human.  
  
"Her European history is colourful to say the least. She seems to have crossed to Europe in the thirteenth century. She has been at the right hand of almost every evil dictator up to the nineteenth century. . ."  
  
"Boring, boring, boring." Buffy flipped over the page to look at the picture.  
  
It was a full-page colour plate. It showed an ancient, very battered painting. On better inspection it wasn't a picture of Angel, just a picture of a woman who looked very like him. It seemed to ring a bell, but she couldn't quite remember. It made her interested though so she looked at the page opposite.  
  
"blah blah blah, blah blah blah . . ."  
  
"When questioned about the girl more was found to link her to the siren the Native North Americans knew. He said she had a twin spirit that she had to find. He said she had told him they were destined to be together and would overcome any obstacle to get there. If he were mortal, he would become immortal. If he lost his soul, he would regain it. If he went to hell, she could bring him back."  
  
Buffy was bristling with excitement. What if this were it? If this weren't part of an evil plan, if it was just fate, twin souls, destined to be together. She quickly scan read  
  
" . . . It is unknown whether, after this one, sirens are still in existence. Since their metabolism is very similar, if not an exact replica of, that of a human, it is possible that the spirit of a siren might be born to a human if this one died before she reproduced. If a siren were found she could be a very powerful force for good or evil . . ."  
  
Buffy put the book down.  
  
"Mom, I'm going to sleep now, I'm beat!" Buffy shouted down.  
  
"Okay dear," Joyce's voice floated up.  
  
  
  
Buffy hopped, skipped and jumped all the way to Angel's, feeling like she was walking on air. There was so much to be happy and think about. Her mind was racing, what could this all mean?  
  
Angel wasn't there. He was probably out patrolling. She'd wait, she'd sit on the sofa, she'd be here when he got back and she'd tell him and they'd kiss and . . . she fell asleep.  
  
As she slept she had a wonderful dream.  
  
She was at the Bronze and everyone was there and she had to sing. Everyone was watching and she had no idea what she was going to sing. Then she saw Angel and she knew everything would be alright, and the moment she started singing nothing mattered except him.  
  
I've been missing you I should be kissing you  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
I wouldn't tell a lie got a love I can't deny  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee  
  
I close my eyes and I see you clear  
It feels like you're lying here  
All the things I want to say come and go  
Easy as the breeze those words just flow  
I float on air light as any feather  
Your love so sweet like an open flower  
I'm dizzy from the time we spent together  
I need that honey drip every hour  
  
I'm thinking about your sugar lips  
Got a feeling for you now that's so strong  
I'm dreaming of the candy in your fingertips  
Baby don't stay away for too long  
  
I've been missing you I should be kissing you  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
I wouldn't tell a lie got a love I can't deny  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee  
  
You make me smile though you're far away  
I hear your voice like it was yesterday  
All the things you do they make me feel so fine  
I wanna tell the world about a love that's mine  
These wings to fly are gonna last forever  
Cos one by one my dreams come true  
And I touch the sky whenever we're together  
I can't believe the joy I get with you  
  
I'm thinking about your sugar lips  
Got a feeling for you now that's so strong  
I'm dreaming of the candy in your fingertips  
Baby don't stay away for too long  
  
I've been missing you I should be kissing you  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
I wouldn't tell a lie got a love I can't deny  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee that's you for me  
Honey to the bee come on and buzz me  



	4. Deathly

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. I do however own Una.  
  
Author's Note:  
Thank you sophie for crediting me with an original idea! The only reason for it is that I missed the episode where they explained why Angel came back from hell, so I had to make it up.  
My personal proof reader didn't get that Buffy thought she was Angel's siren: she thought she was Angel's siren.  
  
  
They had just got some ice creams. Angel had chocolate and she had vanilla. Angel was dealing with his with ease, she thought jealously probably due to his colder hands. Her warm hands were making hers dribble and she needed two hands to stop it from dripping on her dress. Angel still had one free and was holding her tightly through the material of her dress.  
  
They had been walking like this for what seemed like ages. Their silence speaking volumes.   
  
They were walking through Sunnydale Park both grinning like idiots when suddenly a vampire jumped out at them from behind the bushes. Una raised an eyebrow and gave him a withering look.  
  
"Sorry to bother you folks," he tipped his cowboy hat apologetically and ran off.  
  
"What was that?" Angel asked her; unaware of the look she had given the vamp.  
  
"You're a vampire, I'm a demon - guess he figures he's out-numbered."  
  
"Yeah," Angel said, slightly uneasy.  
  
"You've finished your ice cream."  
  
"Yeah," he said smiling, not wanting her to know he'd discreetly dropped it in a trashcan to have both hands free.  
  
"Mind if we sit down," she asked indicating a picnic table. "I've got to the part where I bite the bottom off the cone, and *that* requires concentration."  
  
They sat on the bench some way away from each other.  
  
"So, what's up with you? What's happened in your life?"  
  
"Well I became a vampire - lost my soul, got my soul back, lost it, got it back, went to hell, came back."  
  
"So you're pretty much the same except two hundred and fifty years older. Oops!"  
  
The ice cream had chosen that moment to fall out of the bottom of the cone. She had to dart quickly away so it didn't fall on her dress. It still fell on the bench so she was left sitting so close to Angel she was practically on his lap.  
  
"Well," she said licking her fingertips, "that's the end of that."  
  
"So," said Angel, sliding an arm around her, "what's happened with you?"  
  
"I've just hung out," she said. Angel had taken her hand and was tracing circles on the palm with his index finger, just that little contact was so, well it made it hard to concentrate on what she was saying anyway.  
  
"And how old are you?"  
  
"Older then time itself."  
  
"And you've just hung out?"  
  
She laughed. "I can knit, and play the guitar, and do all those things people never have time to get round learn."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"I can lay bricks, and climb trees, and mine for coal, and fix cars, and make furniture, and -"  
  
"Yeah, I get the idea."  
  
"It's getting light, how about I walk you home."  
  
He helped her up off the bench and they walked in silence holding hands and leaning into each other.  
  
They reached Angel's gate.  
  
"This is it."  
  
"Oh," she said looking up at it.  
  
"Your hair's coming down."  
  
"Yeah, it's only stable for a few hours, then I have to do it again."  
  
He walked behind her and started taking out the pins one by one releasing waterfalls of long back shiny hair.  
  
"There," he said, standing back to admire his handiwork.  
  
"Thanks," and smiled at him.  
  
"Well, bye Angel," she said, starting to leave.  
  
"Wait, aren't you gonna come in?"  
  
"Not on the first date Angel, I'm not that kind of girl."  
  
"No I didn't mean that," Angel said, blushing furiously. "I just wanted to talk some more."  
  
"Well that's very, very sweet Angel, but I want to go home now."  
  
"Well where do you live? I'll pick you up, how does tomorrow at sundown sound."  
  
"Lovely," she said sadly, "but I live very far away and I have to go back there now."  
  
"What?" Angel said his eyes searching hers for an answer.  
  
"I've really enjoyed today. But I don't want to stay here with you."  
  
"Why? Did I say something? Did I do something?" He was holding both her hands and looking at her earnestly.  
  
"Angel, I'm not going to lie to you," avoiding his gaze, "so don't ask me why. It's not like I'm never coming back. Because I will, eventually."  
  
Angel dropped her hands and stepped away from her.  
  
"So this is it. I've been waiting for you all my life, I get you for one day then you go."  
  
"Angel," she said softly, tears on her cheeks. "I'm going to go now."  
  
She stepped towards him and placed her hand on his arm. Standing on tiptoe she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. At the last moment Angel turned his head and kissed her properly. He felt her initial surprise and resistance but then she kissed him back. He closed his arms around her and cuddled her against him. Kissing her more and more deeply. Then she wriggled free and stepped backwards quickly, tripping over her own feet. She was shaking and breathing heavily and a glance at him confirmed that he was in the same state.  
  
"Stay," he pleaded.  
  
"No," and she ran away, leaving Angel staring helplessly after her.  
  
She ran, her sight blurred by the tears, and ran straight into someone's chest.  
  
"I'm sorry I'll -"  
  
"No, it's okay, you're upset," and he rested her head on his shoulder, exposing her neck. Spike vamped out and prepared to go in for the kill.  
  
And as he considered her neck Una wondered what would have happened if she had told him the truth.  
  
  
  
Now that I've met you  
Would you object to  
Never seeing each other again  
'Cause I can't afford to  
Climb aboard you  
No one's got that much ego to spend  
  
So don't work your stuff  
Because I've got troubles enough  
No, don't pick on me  
When one act of kindness could be  
Deathly  
Deathly  
Definitely  
  
'Cause I'm just a problem  
For you to solve and  
Watch dissolve in the heat of your charm  
But what will you do when  
You run it through and  
You can't get me back on the farm  
  
So don't work your stuff  
Because I've got troubles enough  
No, don't pick on me  
When one act of kindness could be  
Deathly  
Deathly  
Definitely  
You're on your honour  
'Cause I'm a goner  
And you haven't even began  
So do me a favour  
If I should waver  
Be my savoir  
And get out the gun  
  
Just don't work your stuff  
Because I've got troubles enough  
No, don't pick on me  
When one act of kindness could be  
Deathly  
Deathly  
Definitely  



	5. Yesterday

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. I do however own Una.  
  
  
  
Angel stood for a long time, not knowing what to do. Eventually he went inside slamming the door behind him. Someone popped up from behind his sofa and he jumped.  
  
"Oh god," he said softly as he realised the magnitude of what he'd just done.  
  
"Where've you been?"  
  
"Out"  
  
"But it's almost light out"  
  
"I was, um, in the garden in the shade. I still enjoy watching the sun rise."  
  
"Hmm," she said, not really listening. "I've got something to tell you."  
  
"Yes," he said, sitting down next to her and holding his head in his hands.  
  
"I'm your siren." She said it gleefully, bouncing slightly on the sofa and smiling at Angel.  
  
Angel didn't know how to react. He'd just spent a day with the person he loved. And now he had to listen to this little kid trying to replace her. He controlled his breathing and counted to ten.  
  
"No you're not." He said firmly.  
  
"What" she said, confused.  
  
"I've checked it out. If you were my siren we'd share a mutual telepathy."  
  
"You checked it out?"  
  
"Yeah" Did he have to repeat everything?  
  
"You thought we had that strong a connection?" her voice was soft and sweet and showed the love and respect she had for him.  
  
"Yeah," he said, not lying. He'd never felt what he felt when he was with Buffy.  
  
She leaned in and kissed him passionately. Angel couldn't help comparing this kiss with the sweet sincere touch of his sirens lips earlier.  
  
Things were so much easier yesterday.  
  
  
  
Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away  
Now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh I believe in yesterday  
  
Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be  
There's a shadow hanging over me  
Oh yesterday came suddenly  
  
Why she had to go I don't know wouldn't say  
I said something wrong now I long for yesterday  
  
Yesterday love was such an easy game to play  
Now I need a place to hide away  
Oh I believe in yesterday  
  
Why she had to go I don't know wouldn't say  
I said something wrong now I'm longing for yesterday  



	6. Little Blue

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. Una is mine.  
  
Author's note: sorry about the wait, but if I don't get more reviews I might stop writing, despite the fact that I have it all planned out, and it's very good if I do say so myself.  
  
  
  
Spike was searching his pockets for a fag when someone ran straight into him, head butting him in the chest.  
  
He was just regaining his balance when he noticed her bare neck. He was ravenous. He'd been driving for three days and had had no time to feed.  
  
"I'm sorry I'll -" she said, as she recoiled away from him.  
  
"No, it's okay, you're upset" Spike said, not taking his eyes off her neck. He wrapped his arms around her and cradled her head carefully.  
  
Looking at her pale skin he vamped out.  
  
"If you bite me Spike I'll whoop your arse." She said deadpan.  
  
He snatched his hands away as if he'd been burned.  
  
"Sorry," he muttered.  
  
"That's okay," she said, rubbing her arms.  
  
Spike, whose face was by now back to normal, looked at her with worried eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I bollocksed everything thing up again."  
  
Spike watching in horror as she used the only weapon he was defenceless against, tears.  
  
"Aw, come on Blue," Spike groaned. "Look, it's nearly light, we need to be getting back."  
  
She stifled her sobs and replied, "Yeah"  
  
"We'll talk about this when we get back, but now we need to run, okay?"  
  
"Yeah," she repeated softly.  
  
They ran.  
  
  
  
Spike locked the door behind him and turned to look at Blue. As soon as she'd got in she'd collapsed on the sofa and was now curled up in a ball, her body racked with sobs.  
  
He sat on the floor next to her and stroked her cheek softly. "What's wrong?"  
  
""I bollocksed everything thing up."  
  
"So you said"  
  
She continued between sobs.  
  
"I went and he . . . he was so nice and caring and . . . and then I had to leave . . . and it was horrible and . . ." she looked at Spike with tears streaming down her face and shook her head ever so slightly. She didn't have words to describe the awful wrenching at her heart with every step she took away from him. "And he's still here, I can feel him in my head and he . . . he won't get out." She gazed at Spike looking for the answer.  
  
"I knew this would happen."  
  
"You would," she said, sniffing.  
  
"It's like when you have to give up a baby for adoption, you can rationalise it all you want, but when it gets there, you can't let go."  
  
"And you'd know would you?"  
  
"I've seen it on the telly, yes." He replied, adopting an air of injured intellectualism.  
  
She giggled through her tears.  
  
"That's what I like to see," he said getting up. "So, you're going to get some sleep then you're going to go back-"  
  
"Will you some with me?" she interrupted.  
  
"It'll be light"  
  
"Pleeease"  
  
Unable to resist her womanly charm, Spike laughed inwardly at that thought, he gave in.  
  
"Sure, provided you don't mind travelling by sewer."  
  
"Maybe we'll wait 'til it's dark."  
  
"After all you need some time to put your face on"  
  
Blue stuck the tiniest tip of her tongue out at him.  
  
Spike smiled, glad that she'd stopped crying.  
  
"Do you want the bed or are you happy here."  
  
"Happy here," she said, stretching like a cat.  
  
"I'll just bring a blanket then I'll sing you a lullaby to help you sleep," he said smiling, evilly.  
  
"Spike if it's what I think it's going to be I'll whoop you arse." The menace of the threat was marred slightly by her yawning partway through. Spike hummed the opening bars, but she was too tired to do anything about it, and as he sung she slowly drifted off to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
You can't write a novel from a briefcase  
You can write a poem from a trench  
You can dream a dream from A to B  
But you can't catch a bus from a bench  
  
You don't back a horse called Striding Snail  
You don't name a boat Titanic II  
So why when I see your happy smiling fac  
Do I always end up singing Little Blue  
  
Little Blue, how do you do  
Your smile looks like heaven, but your eyes hold a storm about to brew  
Little Blue  
How can a flower so pretty, be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  
  
How can a flower so pretty, be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  
  
You can't build a brewery on a cemetery  
You can build a pub on a church  
And people fall quicker than buildings do  
You have to decide what comes first  
  
You don't call aa plane the flying Roman  
'Cause the Romans always walked and never flew  
So why when I see your happy smiling face  
Do I always end up singing Little Blue  
  
Little Blue, how do you do  
Your smile looks like heaven, but your eyes hold a storm about to brew  
Little Blue  
How can a flower so pretty, be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  
  
Well Bukowski write a poem from a barstool  
And Keats from the top of a hill  
So I'm going to save my special song for you  
From a grave where it's quiet and it's chill  
  
'Cause there's a queue of clouds assembled  
On the horizon of your smile  
Where most think that you're holding back  
I know you're holding bile  
  
Little Blue, how do you do  
Your smile looks like heaven, but your eyes hold a storm about to brew  
Little Blue  
How can a flower so pretty, be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  
  
How can a flower so pretty, be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  
  
How can a flower so beautiful  
Be so laden down with dew  
Little Blue  



	7. 

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. Una is mine.  
  
A/N: set in "Helpless".  
  
  
  
Buffy looked over at Angel, wondering what was wrong. He'd seemed fine when she first came over; he'd given her her birthday present, she'd said thanks, but then it sort of petered out.  
  
"I'm sorry I'm not really a talky person tonight. It's just suddenly there's this chance that my calling's a wrong number, and it's just freaking me out a little." she explained.  
  
  
"hmmm" Angel replied, staring into the fire. What was with him tonight?  
  
"what if I've lost my power?" she asked trying to get a reply.  
  
"You lived a long time without it. You can do it again." He replied coldly.  
  
"Well that's comforting," she murmured to herself. "I think I'll go now." She said it with just a touch of hurt pride in her voice; she was upset, he should be too.  
  
She got up and started to leave, but he just caught her wrist.  
  
"Buffy," he said, looking up at her.  
  
"Yeah," she answered softly, feeling herself being drawn into his melancholy eyes, despite herself.  
  
He got up slowly, and she stood watching him.  
  
"I'm sorry" He wrapped his arms around her. "I've just had a lot to think about."  
  
"Me too," mentally breathing a sigh of relief, at least *she* hadn't done anything to upset him. "Like if I can't live without my powers. I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.  
  
"Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried."  
  
"Don't be so sure. Before I was the Slayer, I was, well, I, I don't wanna say shallow, but, let's say a certain person, who will remain nameless, we'll just call her Spordelia, looked like a classical philosopher next to me. Angel, if I'm not the Slayer, what do I do? What do I have to offer? Why would you like me?"  
  
"I saw you before you became the Slayer." He said it so softly she could hardly hear him.  
  
"What?" He stroked her hair, as if trying to calm her. She wriggled free of his grasp and looked at him. "What?" she repeated.  
  
"I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps and I loved you."  
  
"Why?" she wasn't able to look into his eyes anymore, it was all too confusing  
  
"'cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. (walks to her) And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own."  
  
Buffy looked at him, surrendering herself, feeling herself fall, once again, into the spell of his eyes. "Bye Angel, I love you."  
  
She placed a lingering hand on his chest, then left.  
  
She made a quick detour to pick up her weapons then was ready for a night of patrolling.  
  
Wait, was that, no it couldn't be, Spike would never arrive without an entrance, kidnapping her friends or something like that, she crept closer, no it was definitely him but, Buffy frowned, who was that with him.  
  
At the sight of the girl Buffy felt a flicker of recognition, something she couldn't quite get a hold of. Oh well, she'd probably just sat next to her in on the bus or something.  
  
She levelled her crossbow.  
  
"Spike step away from the girl with your hands up."  
  
The girl turned to look at Buffy.  
  
"Fuck off Slayer"  
  
  
  
  
Hope you liked it, I'll be writing more soon, if I get any reviews that is.  



	8. Helpless Angel

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. Una is mine.  
  
  
  
Angel gazed into the fire. This was torture. All his life he'd known her, waited for her to find him. Then realised she wasn't coming, that it was just something he'd made up to keep him company in his darkest hours. He'd decided to forget her, it didn't quite work but then he met Buffy and that helped.  
  
The book he'd given her, and the word, "forever". He'd meant it at the time, but now it just sounded crass and fake.  
  
He did love Buffy, he supposed, this had just thrown it all up into the air again. It was amazing how quickly your whole world could fall apart, just one night. He still couldn't believe it was real. It seemed like a dream. Maybe he'd just imagined it. Like now, he could swear he could see her face reflected in the fire. She gave him a look of disgust, then she was gone. He couldn't say he blamed her.  
  
He got up just in time to see the door bang shut.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Sorry this chapter's barely longer than the disclaimer - more coming soon. R&R!!!! - please  



	9. Helpless Spike

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. I do however own Una.  
  
  
  
He watched her walk towards him, swaying from side to side slightly. Her hands were clasped behind her neck and she looked fixedly at the ground. He called to her, and immediately her demeanour changed, she dropped her hands leaving them to swing by her sides and made a beeline for him, a slight spring in her step.  
  
"Hey Spike!" she turned her grinning face to him and it was impossible not to smile back.  
  
"Hey, so I'm guessing it went well." He started to wind his fingers with her comfortably, and she down at their clasped hands avoiding Spike's eyes.  
  
"I didn't see him."  
  
Spike looked at her shocked. "What?"  
  
"Well," she let go of his hands and began to justify herself. "I mean who knows what's going to happen if I decide to go to him now."  
  
"I'm guessing you."  
  
She shrugged and made a non-committal noise. "Anyway, how's about we go and get drunk tonight, I'll let you find someone to drink. Not that I approve," she stated quickly, slightly scared by the look on Spike's face. "But you need to keep your strength up. We're leaving tomorrow, and you're driving." She patted his chest, "Okay?"  
  
"Blue?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did something happen?"  
  
She frowned slightly, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking. "No. Why?"  
  
"You just seem happier than usual."  
  
She smiled and hugged him.  
  
"Spike step away from the girl with your hands up." A all too familiar voice came from behind him and he span round. He was just about to retort when Blue answered from behind him.  
  
"Fuck off slayer."  
  
Spike's one coherent thought at this moment was . . . God my friend's cool!  
  
"Come on Spike, let's go." She took his arm and started to leave.  
  
This was not good. For some reason leaving his back to Buffy didn't seem the best idea at the moment.  
  
A shwooshing sound came from behind him. Great, he thought, this is it. I'm about to die because Blue is in a good mood.  
  
Blue turned and caught the arrow just seconds before it embedded itself in Spike's back.  
  
"Slayer," she stopped herself and with a voice dripping with fake graciousness she said her name. "Buffy, I happen to know that currently you're having a bit of trouble with your super slayer powers, so maybe it would be better for all of us if you just ran off home."  
  
Spike watched with pleasure as Buffy's jaw dropped. He offered his arm to Blue and they walked off into the sunset - metaphorically speaking, of course.  
  
  
  
"That was so cool, we're going to have to hang about here a bit longer."  
  
"No Spike" dropping her bag on the sofa. "We're going back to LA tomorrow, feel free to stay behind but I need your car." She looked at his sulky face. "Anyway tonight we're going to get out and get very, very drunk indeed and, as I said I'll make an exception and let you find someone to drink."  
  
"Fine," he said pouting. "Just don't expect me to enjoy it."  
  
"Fine," she replied. "Don't. I'm going to go and get ready."  
  
"Fine!" he shouted after her.  
  
He flicked through the channels bored and not really expecting to find anything to interest him, and he didn't.  
  
  
  
A/N: If you enjoyed this review - if not don't, I'm a nice person, I don't deserve to be flamed!  



	10. Helpless Blue

She sat on the bed and sagged. Her cheeks were aching from fake smiles and her eyes were red with unshed tears.  
  
She rubbed her forehead with her hand and slipped to the floor gasping in pain as she felt Angel try to break down her defences and enter her mind. Lines of pain were etched into her skull as Angel searched for a weakness. She reached out blindly and grabbed Spike's suitcase pulling it towards her she reached inside and drew out a bottle full of colourless liquid, reeling from the smell she tipped it up and took a large swallow.  
  
She coughed horribly as nausea crept upon her, then stopped in surprise as she felt the pain subside.  
  
"Finally a use for drink," and she held her nose and drank half the bottle in one swig. She reached to put it into Spike's bag, then noticed something else in it. She picked up the box and turned it over in her hand, reading the back before taking it into the bathroom, picking up some scissors on the way.  
  
  
  
Spike was just about to give up on finding something interesting on TV when Blue burst through the door.  
  
"Ta-dah!" she shouted.  
  
Spike wolf-whistled appreciatively. "Well go Blue!"  
  
Blue performed a deft curtsy as Spike looked her up and down. She was wearing stilettos, which added a good six inches to her height, she was wearing a tight pair of faded bluey-grey jeans. She wore a black top with long flared sleeves trailing over her hands; it had a pleated front panel reminiscent of a medieval ball gown but the whole outfit went nicely nonetheless. The biggest change was her hair, she'd used Spike's dye - heavily diluted - to bleach it blonde and she'd cut it much shorter, layering it to make it fly-away and fluffy.  
  
"So, what are you wearing?" she asked, hands on hips.  
  
"This," Spike replied looking down at himself.  
  
"Fine," she replied, rolling her eyes. "So," looking down at herself. "What do you think?"  
  
"Blue you look fa -" then he noticed a sad expression fleeting crossing her face, so sad it scared him. "fat"  
  
He watched as her jaw dropped and a beautifully outraged look rested on her face. "Hey!" She picked up a nearby cushion and chucked it at him. "Just because I'm not a stick insect like all those vampire bimbos you go out with does *not* mean I'm fat."  
  
"You should see it as a compliment" Spike said approaching her cautiously.  
  
"And why's that?" She asked as he began to escort her out the door.  
  
"Because I only tell the people I really love that they're fat."  
  
"Aaah, really?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, shutting the door after them.  
  
"You really love me?"  
  
"Yeah," he looked down at her, "I do"  
  
"Well, I love you too Spike"  
  
"Aaah, really?" he replied in a not so flattering imitation.  
  
She slapped him gently in the stomach.  
  
"So," his face was serious now and he took her hands in his. "What's going on?"  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked nervously.  
  
"The new clothes, the new haircut, abandoning your man." She looked at her new stilettos. "For a start where did you get those from?"  
  
"The clothes? I had them packed."  
  
"The jeans maybe" Spike scoffed, "but what about the shoes."  
  
"I cheated."  
  
"Magic, right. Well what -" Then he looked at her, she wasn't going to tell him anything right now. "What do you want to do tonight, are you trying to pull or what?"  
  
She grinned, glad at being let off the hook. "You got me there Spike."  
  
"Good, 'cause you see I was just wondering, if this is just a whole rebound thing,"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Don't you think it should be me?"  
  
She looked at him a second, at his serous, earnest face, the collapsed into helpless giggles.  
  
Spike looked hurt. "I was being serious."  
  
"I'm -" she composed herself, stifling the giggles. "I'm very, very sorry Spike."  
  
"Good, 'cos I'm deadly serious."  
  
"Really?" and sat on the banister sliding slowly down her trousers squeaking on the white paint.  
  
"I've thought this through Blue. I'm your best friend - more or less - I'm on the rebound from Drusilla you from . . ." he looked to her for help, but she was concentrating on descending down the banister, he sighed, annoyed. "Whoever, all we really need now is a night of drunken sex and a lifetime of awkwardness to follow it up."  
  
"Much as it sounds like a wonderful proposition," Spike raised his eyebrows, and she blushed slightly in reply. "I don't do sex with evil people."  
  
"You're no fun Blue," Spike scolded.  
  
She grinned good-naturedly. "Anyway, all I want to do is go to a club, drink, dance, find someone to snog, then go home and be sick."  
  
"I know just the place."  
  
  
  
Four demons of various types were having an illicit card game in the corner while at the bar a vampire lay unconscious in a puddle of beer.  
  
"Spike" Willy greeted.  
  
"Willy" Spike replied, then looked to Blue for approval.  
  
"No."  



End file.
